Tough Decisions. Where will it take me next?

The sunsets go as quickly as the sunrises come. Days have been here and gone like a deep breath intake and exhale.5 months left.I make up my mind. I will be leaving Guyana when my service is done, even though thoughts of my students and people I have fallen in love with challenge this decision daily, I needed to stop contemplating in my heart.

I make this decision at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Then I start to reflect. When I leave I know I will remember. When I leave I don't want to forget.....


Mosquito netting that I tucked in every night that first felt unusual but months later made me feel safe and like a princess
The constant sound and feeling of a fan in warm thick air
Sweating, Sweating and more sweating
Mangoes and bananas and pine and all the starfruit in my yard
The boat rides to Orealla being tucked into a sea of people in the middle of the corentyne river
Blackouts that scared and frustrated me then calmed me
Music that never stops, music that makes your heart pound.
A neighborhood full of children that often made people ask “are they all yours, or look at you and all your kids”
A neighborhood full of children that I love, and that returned that love in a way only children can.
Local juice that I preferred from a bag rather than a cup
A small town that turned into a big family
Cold showers that made me appreciate warmth
Letters from family and friends…and packages that made entire weeks
The yelling of my name Missssssssss Julianeeeeeee everytime I approached and left an orphanage, a school, a home.
Zumba afternoons with girlfriends
My school that challenged me more than anything ever has, but that I am most thankful for in the end.
The signing and the language that I fell in love with
Rooms and stores and buildings so hot that I couldn’t stop wiping my face
Food bought from those stores that tasted exactly like the store.
Rain showers that made me dance and got me soaked because I always forgot to walk with my umbrella.
Knee deep water walks to work.
A teacher that never stopped giving.
Cows that passed me on very hot days.
Good mornings and good afternoons that followed me everywhere
Wild animals that loved my garbage ….nothing like seeing a cow outside your house yet still drinking powdered milk.
Driving that involved dodging pigs and donkeys and people
The car horn that is the most used part of a Guyanese vehicle
Mini bus rides that made my stomach hurt....and when they ran outta gas made my body hurt from pushing.
All the crazy pick up lines that only seemed to make me smile….girll you are lookin like one thick can of sweetened condensed milk, or your makin me hotter than my mammas pepper sauce….or WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWwww
Sing it Franky dancing
Beef Box and Beat Boxing
Shell Beach and the roll off or rather onto it
Chocolate milk Beach 63
Being chased by cows and dogs and pigs and feeling like the goats were even out to getme
Being 20 minutes late t o work, just because I was saying hi to people.
Feet tan lines
Cooking for anyone and everyone
Sweating before I even started working out
Fellow Peace Corps Volunteers that will forever have a place in my heart, and some who i feel connected to by the soul.
A bedroom full of school supplies
Kids asking for plasters and constantly playing nursey
6 oclock sunsets
The importance and comfort that you put on certain things like taco seasoning and a yummy smelling soap
The crazy budgeting, going a week off less money than it costs to buy a beer in the US
Sunday night limes on the road and music that was sooo loud I couldn’t talk in my own house
Rum, rum and more rum..mixed with crystal light and viva water.
Teaching sign and loving every second of it.
Teaching Teachers that have taught for more years than I’ve been alive
Speaking British
Hammock Days
Learning how to be a better woman, friend, teacher and giver
My market lady and her warm smile and random filling of my bag(and feeling of my breasts)
Hundreds of students that taught me about life
Foods and spices and dishes that nourished me everyday
Lonely days that I thought would never end
People that accepted me and loved me and cared for me
Umbrellas that broke
Insects that bite
Pens that were stolen
Skin that was always brown
Sun that never slept
Palm trees that always waved.

Guyana. My home for a bit longer.